This blog is one part silly, one part professional, one part concerned citizen of the globe, and 7 parts my best friend and I being complete loons because you only go around this blue dot once, my friends!
To kick it off, I’d like to introduce you to our hang session last night.
But first, some context.
I am a 27-year-old, reasonably attractive white female that grew up in “the hoods” of Buffalo, NY. My friend Siobhan (pronounced See-oh-bun). Actually, she’s super Irish, gingered to the max (literally Kiss My Ass, I’m Irish tattoo on her a$$), so it’s Shove on. She’s a gorgeous, know-it-all (but really, she knows how to do everything, but is humble as shit about everything) nut from the great, strange state of Florida. We’ve both lived some very interesting lives. We find humor in the dreadful. Enjoy.
This bitch is leaving me after I only just found her. She fell in straight up tinder love. Her match made in Wi-Fi heaven is moving to North Carolina in a few days. She’s packing up her brood of incredibly sweet, smart, well-behaved (because they have no other choice, mom’s a hard-ass) funny, strange, beautiful children with her. (I also hate her for this.)
She is doing the whole lesbian thing. Rented the Uhaul before the second date was even over, had amazing 4-hours of lamp-breaking sex, told mom about said sex. Okay, I might have made up one of those (hint: Siobhan is getting a tattoo of a broken lamp on her sometime soon), but they are surely moving down to NC together, so I HAD to meet this fantastical mystery tinder lover, and now you can too.
Que last night: I meet her, I hug her, I ask her how old she is and how the armed robbery she witnessed the night before was. Siobhan said she already warned her about me. That I am her, without a filter.
Before her girlfriend, Casey, came over, we were chatting about my sex life, and how I have taken a hiatus from the male species for one year since my last break up. It’s been about 6 months, and I was telling Siobhan how difficult it can be. Not because I’m lonely, gawd no! Because I’m horny! 😉 Here’s a tidbit of our convo:
Siobhan: So, this guy downstairs, what’s been going on?
Rebecca: Well, he’s living with his mom, he’s vegetarian, andd I’m not dating right now.
Siobhan: I don’t think that’s in the correct order. Anyway, what have you been doing as a substitute?
Rebecca: (full of excitement) I’m masturbating!!
Siobhan: hahahaha, I meant spiritually!
Hilarity continues to ensue when we are together. That’s our blog.